당신의 인생을 바꿀 14가지 숨겨진 명언 모음

- Look, we all know self-helpis full of garbage advice, follow your passion, just staypositive, visualize success.

 It all sounds nice, but it's mostly bullshitthat keeps you stuck.

 Now, real growth, it comesfrom brutal, obscure truths that nobody's posting on Instagram with a nice sunset in the background.

 My name is Mark Manson.

 I'm a three times number one New YorkTimes bestselling author, and I am sick of it! No more cliche quotes,no more bullshit sunsets, no more cheesy Instagram posts! Because I have dug into thehistory books to find 15 quotes.

 - 15!- Nevermind.

 14 quotes that you've never heard of.

 Diamonds in the rough thatsmash self-help cliches and actually move the needle.

 Stop wasting time on fake motivation, because here's the real wisdom that you've never heard before.

 Quote number one, "Hewho fears he shall suffer already suffers from what hefears," Michel de Montaigne.

 Montaigne invented the personal essay.

 He was also incrediblyobsessed with his cat.

 But most importantly, he understood that suffering is driven moreby expectation than reality.

 I love this quote becauseit's a blunt reminder that worrying about futurepain is often just as miserable as actually experiencing it.

 As I like to say, the emotionsyou avoid will control you.

 The emotions you face will free you.

 Fun fact, one study by theUniversity of Cincinnati found that 85% of what we worry about never actually happens.

 85%! So next time your brain starts spinning terrifying scenarios, remember, you're already paying the price for something that won't come true.

 Stop worrying, start fucking living.

 Quote number two, "You'll worry less about what people think about you when you realize how seldom they do," from David Foster Wallace.

 I read "Infinite Jest" in 2010, and at the time I sufferedfrom a lot of social anxiety.

 When I read it, thisline in the book hit me like a bucket of ice water in the face.

 For years it became a mantrain every social situation I was ever in, and since, I've shared itas much as I possibly could.

 - What is your favorite quote? - "You'll stop worrying so much what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do.

" The quote refers to apsychological phenomenon known as the spotlight effect,the natural human tendency to assume that everyone ispaying far more attention to us than they actually are.

 Understanding this psychologicaltendency can liberate you from worrying so much aboutwhat other people think of you, because the fact is, they don't.

 - I don't think about you at all.

 - Quote number three, "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one'scourage," Anais Nin.

 The most important moments in life are the most intimidating, and the most intimidatingmoments demand the most courage.

 Therefore, QED, yourcourage is proportional to the significance and impactit will have in your life.

 Now, some ancient Greekswent as far as arguing that courage must be the first virtue simply because it is requiredin order to accomplish all of the other virtues.

 The more courageous youare, the wider your horizons of possible actionsyou're capable of taking, the broader, more impactfulyour life becomes.

 Now, there's quite a logic to that.

 We will actually comeback to this idea later.

 Quote number four, is this number four? Quote number four, "Onemust choose in life between boredom andsuffering," Madame de Stael.

 Stael, Stael, I don't knowhow to pronounce that.

 Madame de Stael did not fuck around.

 An 18th century French philosopher, she was an outspoken critic of the king, the Reign of Terror, andNapoleon, yet somehow managed to keep her head on hershoulders, literally.

 I love this quote because it actually evokesa deep Buddhist principle without even knowing it.

 We escape boredom throughstimulation and craving, yet all stimulation andcraving requires a come down, an experience of lacking thatstimulation or what you crave, which then causes suffering.

 So you can either select the rollercoaster of worldly pleasures and pain, or you can withdraw and subject your mind to the sheer boredom of intense meditation and detachment fromall worldly experience.

 The Buddha would encourageyou to do the latter.

 Madame de Stael, to her credit, I suppose, would've chosen valiant suffering.

 But if pain's inevitable, it makes sense that wewould try to avoid it, which brings us to this doozy.

 Number five, "All sins areattempts to fill voids.

 True virtue lies in the recognition and acceptance of one's own emptiness without desperately tryingto fill it," Simone Weil.

 There's a desperate need within ourselves to feel like we're doing something, accomplishing something,gaining something.

 Without it, we feel completely empty.

 We can either fill this void with constructive moral pursuits or fill it with compulsive,dysfunctional ones.

 You know, sex, drugs, playing League of Legendsfor 14 hours straight and still ending up in BronzeLeague, you fucking loser.

 - Wow! How bro, how has he done that? - The first step to managingthat internal emptiness is to simply accept that it's there, that it doesn't necessarilyalways have to be filled.

 You can just be, man.

 Just because you weren't productive doesn't make you less of a person.

 Just because you're notcaught up on the latest trend or this show or the cool meme that all thecool kids are talking about, it doesn't make you less of a person.

 Just because you're a hard stuck feedlord and none of your friendswanna play with you anymore, doesn't mean you're less of a person.

 Or does it? Fucking noob.

 Quote number six, "The curious paradox is thatwhen I accept myself as I am, I can change," Carl Rogers.

 Big daddy Carl.

 Carl Rogers was probably themost influential psychologist that you've never heard of.

 His big contributionto clinical psychology was that he argued thatgenuine growth starts with a non-judgmental look in the mirror.

 He championed unconditionalpositive regard, a fancy term for acceptingourselves and others without imposing a bunch of bullshit standards and conditions.

 We usually think we have to punish,shame, or guilt ourselves to spark any sort of improvement, but Rogers flips that on his head.

 The more we fight who we are, he said, the more stuck we end up becoming.

 So embrace your quirks, ownyour awkward dance moves, come to terms with your prodigious talent for procrastination.

 Ironically, that acceptance is actually what's going to set you free.

 Quote number seven, "Geniusis nothing more or less than childhood recovered atwill," from Charles Baudelaire.

 This quote made me stop in mytracks and think for a minute.

 First, I had to askmyself, what is genius? Like really, what is genius? Like, there's a cliche thattalent can hit the target everyone else is aiming at, but a genius hits the targetno one else knows is there.

 So what does that haveto do with childhood? Well, let's think about it.

 To see a target that no one else sees, you have to have a freedom and curiosity untainted by the outside world.

 Kids dream up things withoutworrying about the mortgage or tomorrow's deadlines.

 They play spontaneously without concern of whether they'll be judged or whether they're improvingtheir credit score or not.

 It's this freedom from social pressure, this willingness to lookwhere no one else is looking, to follow one's raw and untainted passion that allows the creative genius to flow.

 The takeaway, tap back intothat raw sense of wonder, even if it feels silly.

 Genius isn't always about big IQ numbers.

 Sometimes it's aboutgiving yourself permission to take a shot at somethingno one else is looking at.

 Now, speaking of geniuses,quote number eight, "I have forced myself to contradict myself in order to avoid conformingto myself," Marcel Duchamp.

 God, I love fucking this quote.

 This quote goes so hard.

 Marcel Duchamp wasnothing if not contrarian.

 He once put a urinal in an art gallery and called it a fountain.

 A lot is said about theonline echo chambers today, the tendency for us allto seek out information that confirms our prior beliefs.

 What gets talked about less, though, is what psychologistscall confirmation bias.

 That is our tendency tobe our own echo chambers.

 See, there's a natural humantendency to only seek out what is already pleasing and comfortable, what already aligns to yourown beliefs and tastes.

 What Duchamp recognizedin the context of art is that this is the death of creativity, that creativity requires youto be willing to step outside of your own comfort zone and allow yourself to be challenged, in many cases challenged by yourself.

 And this is true across life.

 We must always be willing tocontradict our own assumptions and preferences, at least to see if what wewant is actually what we want.

 We must resist the trap ofbecoming our own cliche.

 The alternative is justself-imposed stagnation.

 By the way, a couple quick bonus quotes.

 I got one for you.

 "You can't be a life-changing presence to some people's lifewithout being a complete joke and embarrassment to some others.

" Or how about, "Learningmore is a smart person's favorite form of procrastination.

" You like those quotes, I gotmore where those came from.

 That's right, 'cause I fucking said them.

 This video is sponsored by my own shit, because I've got a membership community that is honestly changing hundreds of people's lives right now.

 I'm super excited about it.

 It's called Momentum, and the whole point of itis to get you off your ass, stop watching videos likethis, twiddling your thumbs, staring at your navel, andactually doing something.

 Everything is set up and incentivized to help you take action, to help you takeaccountability for that action.

 And look, it's not like somemassive world-changing action that's gonna just like, alterthe universe in 24 hours.

 No, it's actually a small,simple action every single day.

 And look, nobody's perfect.

 You might miss an actionone day, but that's okay.

 You get back on the train, slowly you stack those small wins up.

 After enough time, boom, you're a completely different person.

 That's why it's called Momentum.

 That's why this shit actually works.

 And that's why it's the greatest personaldevelopment community ever invented by mankind.

 We've got a couple thousandactive members already.

 It's like, barely two months old.

 We just did our first meetup in London.

 I'm super active in the community.

 I'm in there answeringquestions, talking to people, meeting members.

 And we've got some really incredible plans lined up over the next year.

 So if there's anything you sign up for, if there's fucking anysponsor you listen to in any video in thischannel, let it be this one.

 Momentum community, goto findmomentum.

com.

 Tell Mark Manson that Mark Manson sent you and tell Mark to have a nice day, 'cause I wanna have a nice day.

 Back to the video.

 Is this quote number nine? I don't even know.

 Eight? Okay, eight.

 The highest reward, (laughing)he doesn't know either.

 Nine, it's nine, okay.

 (laughing) "The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it,but what they become for it," John Ruskin.

 In an age where hustle cultureglorifies a big paycheck or a promotion, Ruskin's words ring true.

 Because maybe the real perk of the grind isn't the shiny trophy, it's the friends we made along the way.

 No, I'm just kidding.

 It's actually the skill and character you develop along the way.

 Think about it, the bigpayoffs come and go, money can be spent, plaques gather dust, but your skills, when you develop them, theyare fucking yours forever.

 There's that old cliche thatsays you are what you eat.

 Well, another way to think about it is what you do is what you become.

 If you put yourself under pressure and live a life full of challenges, you will grow into aperson who handles pressure and overcomes challenges.

 Pretty plain and simple.

 Quote number 10, "Break a vase, and the love thatreassembles the fragments is stronger than the love which took its symmetry forgranted," Derek Walcott.

 In Japanese culture, there'sa practice called Kintsugi, where cracked pottery is mended with gold, making the piece morevaluable than before.

 I love this concept as a beautiful metaphor for relationships, as the most important things in life tend to become more valuablethe more they are damaged.

 A muscle grows strongerafter stressing it.

 We become more resilientafter handling adversity.

 Our relationships grow moreintimate once we've been tested.

 And it's our heartache that in retrospect will one day strike usas the most meaningful.

 Because you really don't knowwhat a relationship is made of until you've been througha shitstorm together.

 And you don't know what you're made of until you've dealt with pain and setbacks.

 You don't know how strong you can become until you've consistentlytested your limits and made yourself feel weak.

 It's therefore our scars thatmake us strong and beautiful.

 Quote number 11, "Excellenceis not an aspiration, excellence is the nextfive minutes," Tom Peters.

 Well, Tom Peters isclearly watching this video 'cause the last five minutes of this video is gonnabe fucking excellent.

 Right, Tom? Yeah.

 We often imagine excellence.

.

.

 (laughing) That was so awkward.

 We often imagine excellenceas some far off result, something that we aspire toand work towards for years.

 I love this quote becauseit flips this expectation on its head.

 Sure, excellent resultshappen far off in the future, but excellence put into action happens each and every singlemoment, in everything we do.

 It's the email you send in the morning, the extra five minutes youspend fine-tuning a project, or the decision to actuallytalk to your coworker instead of ghosting them on Slack.

 Hell, it's the effort that I put into readingthis script right now.

 Which I'm clearly doing a great job of.

 Alright, next quote.

 Hurry, scroll fast.

 (laughing) Quote number eleventy-million.

 "It's not the notes you play, it's the notes you don'tplay," from Miles Davis.

 Now, when I was in music school,I was absolutely obsessed with Miles Davis for a semester.

 I went through this whole phase, I listened to every single album he made, I read his autobiography.

 And aside from being perhapsthe most influential musician of the 20th century, MilesDavis was a badass motherfucker.

 He took shit from nobody.

 In an era where jazzmusicians were cramming as many notes into a song asthey had the breath to play, Davis made his name bytaking the opposite approach, by playing with thespace between the notes.

 And it turns out that this is actually a useful metaphor for life.

 Who you are is arguablydetermined not by what you do, but what you choose not to do.

 Trying to do it all only muddiesand complicates the song, because the melody gets lost in the chaos.

 But stepping back and only doing what istruly important to you, only doing what truly expresses you, that gives all of your actions weight and significance and impact.

 So be conscious of what you do, but be even more consciousof what you do not do.

 Quote number 380 million, "Freedom is not theabsence of commitments, but the ability tochoose and commit oneself to what is most deeply meaningful.

 True liberty exists not in escape, but in purposeful engagement," Nicolas Berdyaev.

 (laughing) How do you pronounce that? (laughing) Nicolas Berdyaev was a Russian philosopher who lived through the Russian revolution, so he knew a thing or twoabout oppression and freedom.

 In Western culture, there'sa mistaken view of freedom as having more optionality.

 Choosing from 18 differenttypes of coffee creamers is seen as a form of freedom.

 Having 400 movies and TV shows is seen as the epitome of freedom.

 Sure, ditching responsibilitiescan feel like freedom for a hot minute, but real liberationhappens when you decide what truly matters toyou and go all in on it.

 Research actually showsthat more optionality doesn't make us any happier, it actually cripples us with the anxiety that we're not making the best choice.

 Ultimately, a meaningfullife requires constraints, and it's the ability tochoose our own constraints that sets you free.

 Quote number last one, themost common.

.

.

 (laughing) "The most common waypeople give up their power is by thinking that they don'thave any," from Alice Walker.

 Powerlessness is a mindsetmore than it is a fact.

 And modern psychology shows us that there is a certain amountof self-fulfilling prophecy to our beliefs about ourselves.

 If you're convinced that you're powerless, you'll stop trying before you even start.

 Whereas if you alwaysassume you have some agency, then you'll look for better choices and create better results.

 The truth is, you alwayshave some form of power, no matter the context,no matter the situation.

 No matter how bad things get,you have the power to decide, how am I going to see this? How am I going to respond to this? How am I going to getbetter at League of Legends and get the fuck outta Bronze League? Put another way, you don'tnecessarily always have the power over the things that happen to you, but you always have thepower of how you react to the things that happen to you.

 Or to put it more succinctly, here's a quote from John-Paul Sartre.

 He said, "Freedom is what youdo with what is done to you.

" That's a bonus one for you kids.

 And this is where couragecomes back into play, because I think we giveaway our personal power not because we don't have any, but simply because we lackthe courage to exercise it.

 So there you have it,14.

5 quotes that I love and you'll never see ona motivational poster in a break room, and forprobably a good reason.

 But if you enjoyed this video,check out my other video where I share 40 pieces ofadvice that I would've given to my younger self.

 I'll see you over there.

 (mellow music)